lovers and friends

so before i lose my train of thought, which happens all of too much. i want to blog about boys, men, young men, guys, males ... whatever. i've realized this summer especially that im beginning to see and understand what type of guy im attracted too. (beware my thoughts are all over the place)

so i've been told that i need to lower my standards, which is bullshit. i dont believe that any girl should lower anything (ha) when it comes to guys. i know what i want and at the end of the day or year or however long it takes for me to find somebody im going to get what i want. and even still i dont think my standards are that high.
i hate the question "what kind of guy do you like?" and as a matter of fact i usually dont like the guys who ask me that, unless i want them to know so we can go on to act like we arnt naming the qualities of each other.
i really hate when guys text me every single day asking me the same question exspecially if the day before i didnt seem too enthused about whatever they asked. like hello.
im sure i can be annoying myself and believe me i think twice before i send texts out .. but i usually just end up saying "fuck it, only live once" and send away no matter what the ending result might be, because really who cares? if they catch an attitude, i'll go catch another.

at this point in my life i can say that nobody can have my heart, but depending upon the person they can have my time (which is ultimately how you know if i have any type of respect or love for you), and some may be able to borrow my heart temporarily. after that there's not much to say.

i mean i guess this all kind of flows into friendship (does it?). i've noticed, not to sound cocky or anything along those lines but i really only let certain people get close to me. only because the friends i have now are really important to me and even though theres only a handful i couldnt ask for better. if your my friend like my friend friend (i always think if i repeat a word twice it sounds more important) you know it with no hesitation. if your my associate (that sounds terrible) but a friend that is just like part time .. damn its not getting any better .. but my point is if you are you'll know that too, and sometimes it makes sense and its better that way. and then there's always those inbetween friends that might be turning into life-long friends. those friends are pretty cool but also a little scary because you never know what could happen, but thats why you dont tell anybody your "life story" until the time is right, thats when you know you've made it to the "real friend level".

lol im babbling .. i should go, you know too much already lol another line i've always wanted to sayyy.